


Sunshine

by Nynaeve



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Canon Compliant, Depression, Episode Related, Episode: s02e02 In the Line of Duty, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-12
Updated: 2009-12-12
Packaged: 2017-10-15 19:51:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/164389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nynaeve/pseuds/Nynaeve
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dr. MacKenzie has a conversation with Captain Samantha Carter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sunshine

**Author's Note:**

> _A/N: This is a different sort of fic – not at all ship related._

Dr. MacKenzie winced as the door slammed shut behind Sergeant Peters. Granted, as a ranking officer he could have reprimanded the man for insubordination but if he did that, he might as well include at least a fourth of the base. That was the hazard of being the one to decide someone was no longer fit to do their job and unfortunately, being the one who signed the death certificate to someone's career. He looked at his signature scrawled at the bottom of the form. Today was shaping up to be one of those days. Maybe he could call Linda and ask her to pick up some good scotch on the way home because he was going to need it.

With a stretch he stood up and headed out of his small office towards the commissary. Truthfully he liked the commissary better than the food at the hospital so at least he had that to look forward to on his weekly two-day stint at the SGC. He quietly loaded his tray with lasagna and garlic bread and he decided to let himself indulge his sweet tooth with a slice of apple pie. MacKenzie sat down at a small table near the wall and started eating not noticing the blonde officer that was tentatively making her way towards him.

"Dr. MacKenzie?"

Looking up he met the blue eyes of Captain Samantha Carter. "Captain," he acknowledged. "Would you care to join me?"

"I've already eaten…" her voice trailed off. "I was wondering if I could come by later, I don't want to bother you."

Smiling he motioned towards the chair in front of him. "Please, sit down. It's rare that anyone actually wants to talk to me voluntarily." A month had passed since he'd signed her psych eval putting her back on active duty after her incident with Jolinar. She was fidgeting and avoiding eye contact so he prodded gently. "Is there something on your mind?"

"I… I saw that psychologist you referred me to, you know, per the conditions of my return to active duty," she started. Sam bit her lip and inhaled deeply. "She thought I should talk to you about… I mean I've been having trouble and I don't know what to do." Her expression pained him and he put his fork down.

"Can you be more specific?" he urged.

"Three days ago we were on a mission and were taken by surprise by a group of Jaffa. Normally my adrenaline starts pumping overtime and there's excitement and maybe even a rush mixed with fear." She paused. "I felt nothing and it's been like this for weeks. I go home at night and I don't even know what I want to eat because I just don't care. Everything seems so…"

"Muted?" he offered.

She leaned forward as she realized he understood. "Yes. Exactly." Having spent years treating people with mental illness he could see the desperation in her expression. There was a longing to have someone tell her she wasn't crazy.

"It sounds like you're depressed, Captain," he replied, his voice soft and his manner companionable. MacKenzie watched her shoulders tense and her jaw tighten. "It's okay you know. It's not a character flaw."

"I don't want to be taken off active duty. Please," she pleaded. Shame and embarrassment were all normal responses as much as he hated them.

"I'm not going to take you off active duty just because you're depressed," he assured and immediately she relaxed. "Come by my office later and I'll give you a prescription for an antidepressant."

Again Sam looked unsure and MacKenzie wanted to bang his head to the table. He was pretty sure most of the personnel on base would prefer to be jabbed repeatedly with Dr. Frasier's needles than to be told to see him, or worse, take his medications. The seasoned officers and enlisted personnel regarded him as somewhat of a quack. The younger were terrified he would ruin their careers, which, much to his chagrin, wasn't always and unfounded fear.

"Look, Captain, I'm not going to require you to take the antidepressant, but all it does is correct the chemistry in your brain. It's not a 'happy' pill. Our brain chemistry is a strange thing and you had a symbiote die and absorb itself into your body. Don't you think it's a little naïve to think everything is going to be the same?"

Her expression told him that she hadn't considered that before. "So what happens now?"

"I'll prescribe you an antidepressant at a low dose and you'll check back with me in four weeks. If it's working well, then we just do periodic checks, if not, we try again."

She nodded and was about to speak when Daniel Jackson's voice interrupted. "Hey Sam! SG-3 brought in some artifacts; I think you'll want to see them!" Sam waved at him from across the room and then looked apologetically at Dr. MacKenzie.

"I'm sorry sir, I need to go… I'll stop by later." Then she was gone.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

The month flew by for Dr. MacKenzie. Psychiatry was a field short of laborers so he had plenty of cases. Looking at his schedule for the day he was surprised to find that he was due to see Captain Carter for her follow up. Lunch was up first, however. The commissary was bustling and he settled for a sandwich before finding a seat and opening up a file he'd brought with him to look over.

A vibrant laugh caught his ear and he looked up to see the members of SG-1 sitting at one of the central tables. Samantha Carter had a huge grin and he could clearly see her eyes were alive as she used her fork to steal a bite of Daniel Jackson's pie. Colonel O'Neill leaned over and whispered in her ear which caused her to snort as she tried to contain herself. Having realized someone was watching her, Sam looked up and met MacKenzie's gaze. She gave him a friendly wave before turning back to her teammates. Smiling to himself he turned his attention back to his work. Maybe tonight he'd take Linda out to their favorite restaurant. Putting sunshine back into a young woman's day was always reason enough to celebrate.

**Author's Note:**

>  _A/N: Depression is a serious illness – I know because I live with it. I guess I wrote this as a little bit of a "chin up" for me because I suffer from treatment resistant depression. My hope in writing this is to encourage people to dialogue about depression as it is often misunderstood and stigmatized._


End file.
